The Ultimate Retarded Racer
**My brother wrote this, he drives a blown 1999 Camaro z28**
Figure I try out some of the stuff on this page. So lets start...
This blog is for those of us and anyone interested in racing; weither it be at the track or out on the street (mainly on the street) who run into people with "fast cars". These people do nothing more than talk BS and smack about beating other fast cars daily, but do NOT have a fast car to back them up. You all know what I'm talking about. Below is a list I thought resemble this group of individuals. Everything from talking smack and losing to finding excuses not to race someone. Please feel free to add on if I forgot any.
1. When you hear someone put alot of money into their ride, only to find out it went to the body, not the engine.
2. When you hear someone put alot of money into their ride, only to find out you smoked em 5 minutes ago.
3. When they cruize by and give you that "You ain't got nothing on me" look.
4. When they come speeding up on someone that looks like they drive a Subaru Impreza, only to find out they are picking a fight with a WRX STI.
5. When they run their mouths about keeping up Cobras and Corvettes only to find out they can't even keep up with the mail man.
6. When they think fabrication adds horse power (i.e. stickers, carbon fiber hoods, over size wings that belong on airplanes, etc)
7. When they think spinners are cool.
8. When the only mod to someones POS is a really loud muffler.
9. When you challenge them to a race and they back down becuase they know their car sucks.
10. When you drive a 1999 Camaro Z/28 and someone yells, "HEY! Thats a pretty sweet Corvette you have there!" (It happened to me. True story).
11. When their excuse not to race is, "My clutch is all messed up."
12. Or, "I'm not running good fuel."
13. Or, "I got bad tires."
14. Or, "My transmission is all messed up."
15. Or, "Dude, I'm just pulling your strings. Theres no way I could beat you."
16. When the only threating sound comming from their car is their sound system.
17. When the only threating sound comming from their car is the passenger screaming for help.
18. When all they do is dump the clutch and spin their wheels from a launch.
19. When its obvious they can't drive for shit and everyone and their brother and sister can see it, but they won't admit it.
20. After being beaten, they respond with, "Just give me a few months and I'll be boosting." (How many of us have heard that one before?)
21. When their idea of auto crossing is going through the Burger King drive-thru as fast as they can.
22. When they don't know anything about cars and won't admit it.
23. When they don't realize the potential of someones car until they are embarressed by it in front of alot of people.
24. When you find out mommy and daddy bought their car.
25. When they talk about being a great driver, and then later they go out and try to pull off some amazing driving move at high speed and end up wrecking their ride into a wall or other cars.
Sorry thats alot. This is not here to offened people. Its here to be shared with others who have experience at least once a cocky son of a bitch who talked the talk, but couldn't walk the walk. Please add more.