I'm not sure which of us Cobalt owners ever said an Evo or STI was slow. Especially since our cars come with 205 hp stock, and yours comes with what 310? Sure, a cobalt is just as capable as a STI of making big power, and there are some cobalts that are faster than STI, but that doesn't mean that all cobalt owners think they can beat a STIs.
Also btw, you only use "an" before a word that starts with a vowel, like "an apple, an outside cat, an audi, an absolutely stupid thread about beating a cobalt"
For words that start with consonants (letters that aren't vowels) you use an "A" in front of them, as in "A Dumbass."
Its a shame you drive a STI, because I really like those cars, and I hate to see cocky jerks who don't deserve them owning them